Below is an example of close analysis that Ms Georgiou and I have scripted. You will be expected to apply the assessment objectives to this example, then to comment and grade it providing justifications for your choice. These should then be posted on this blog by adding a comment.
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Explore how Carter uses a range of techniques to create tension and comment on their effectiveness.
Throughout ‘The Bloody Chamber’ Carter explores the potential for and consequences of female curiosity and independence. This extract presents the reader with the moment at which the narrator is faced with the cost of her desire for knowledge.
When the narrator enters the ‘subterranean privacy’ of the chamber in search of her husband’s ‘soul’, the word ‘subterranean’ develops the demonic characterisation of the Count, beginning the comparison of the chamber with ‘hell’. Carter develops the contrast between the innocence and inexperience of the narrator and the malevolence and sexual ‘depredation’ of her ‘stark’ physical environment as a way of creating a tense, fraught atmosphere for the reader.
“One false step, oh, my poor, dead girl, next in the fated sisterhood of his wives; one false step and into the abyss of the dark you stumbled” p27
Carter’s description of ‘the abyss of the dark’ signifies both the ‘torture chamber’ and her fateful marriage to the Count and for the reader has a greater significance as they too are invited to consider whether the narrator has made the same ‘false step’. Carter structures the narrator’s discovery of her predecessors chronologically which leads the reader to the conclusion that the narrator is the next victim of the Count’s violent sexual desires.
Throughout this collection of short stories, Carter subverts our expectations of traditional images. In the opening of the story the narrator refers to the "unguessable country of marriage" which echoes Hamlet's reference to death. This pairing is revisited in this extract with yet more subversion of traditional symbolism.
"...this skull...had been crowned with a wreath of white roses, and a veil of lace, the final image of his bride"
The link between marriage and death, sex and violence is made explicit here when the narrator sees the extent of the bargain she has entered into and the consequences of sexual curiosity. The word "crowned" suggesting a ritualistic idolisation of the female, whereas the "white roses", traditionally symbolic of love and innocence become reminiscient of the white funerial lillies associated with her husband when described as a "wreath". The final clause of the sentence places emphasis on the word "bride", reminding us and our narrator of her position and possible destiny.
10 comments:
A01 - band 5
-Close analysis shows "consistently detailed understanding of selected passage" - the use of embedded quotations throughout as well as analysis of these quotes presents this. Uses quotations which are relevant to the question.
-Uses formal language throughout the essay (e.g. "the final clause")
-Critical terminology accurately and consistently used, such as "This extract presents..." and "This echoes..."
-Relates female curiosity and independence to each paragraph ("detailed argument consistently developed")
A02 - Band 5
-Talks about language throughout the essay with detailed discussion of its effects.
Form and structure is talked about, especially in the final paragraph, which talks about how words are emphasised by syntax.
-Analytical methods are consistent throughout (gives a detailed response to each quotation which is used)
-Uses short, embedded quotations which blend into discussion, such as "subterranean" and "stark."
Jasmine
AO1- band 5:
-Uses a consistent tone throughout the text, fluently written therefore it makes it more understanding for the reader to observe.
-Closely analysed and shows clear understanding in the understanding of the selected passage.
-Good use of quotations in relevant places and accurately used.
-Each paragraph refers back to the question and the written piece is relevant and alsoe develops throughout the piece.
AO2-Band 5:
-Well structured, each paragraph is of its own relevance so nothing is repeated and al throughout the piece is consistent.
-Uses the PEE rule (point, evidence, explain)-so the quotations used are described and analysed in detail.
-Good use of language which is similar throughout so doesn't confuse the reader.
-Effective use of how syntax has been convyed.
-Quotations were well picked out and they are of use in the passage.
Annie.
A01- band 5
-very clear understanding of the passage.
-arguments developed consistently
-analysis short,detailed and precise
-consistently fluent and accurate
-critical terminology used
A02-Band 5
- language, structure and form looked at in depth, showing good understanding of the text.
-uses a wide range of vocabulary
-uses words such as "depredation" from the text nd relate it to their own explaination.
-everything is of relevance and is developed thoroughly.
Yinka lawal
AO1- Band 5
-The close analysis shows consistency in each passage and also goes into specific detail of each point.
-Appropriate register used consistently, giving structure to the whole essay.
-Correct terminology used to define points to the readers.
-The essay is well structured with paragraphs which gives depth in the writing.
AO2- Band 5
-Effective language and form used which relates back to essay question.
-Excellent use of analytical methods which give a precise point.
-Quotations blend into discussion as they are appropriately used.
Raisa Valimahomed
A01 - Band Five:
-A clear understanding of the text is shown. For example: "Carter explores the potential for and consequences of female curiosity and independence."
-The close analysis was written accurately and fluently. Particularly "Carter's description of.....Count's violent sexual desires."
-Critical terminology is accurately and consistently used. For example: "yet more subversion of traditional symbolism."
-The close analysis was evidently well-structured and well-written.
A02 - Band Five:
-The close analysis constantly mentions language, form and structure. For example: the quotations and explanations of "subterranean privacy", "soul", "torture chamber".
-Analytical methods are used well, throughout the close analysis - the writer gives a detailed explanation about each quote used.
-Many quotations are used throughout the piece of writing. All of these quotes are embedded well, and they are all of use to the point being made.
Georgia.
AO1 BAND 5
-Understanding of theme.
-Notifies the reader of the passage 'This extract presents...'
-Clear understanding of quotations used, with a clear ananlysis. A good selection of quotations picked out.
-Detailed argument with the PEE (Point,Evidence,Explain)
-Relevant to task
-Form, Sructure, Language explained throughout.
Rumana Islam
I put it in a band 4 because you have shown good understanding of the passage by expanding in depth
"Carter explores the potential for consequence"
The writing is fluent and understandable but is written in a appropriate tone.
You have analysed the text and used analytical language
"Carter’s description of ‘the abyss of the dark’ signifies both the ‘torture chamber’ and her fateful marriage to the Count and for the reader has a greater significance"
You have well structured arguments and you have supported your argument by using quotation and developing your argument
Isabella lamptey
A01- Band 5
You have met the criteria for band 5, in that you have ;
-shown an understanding of the passage
-it is consistently fluent
-It is structured well
Ao2 - Band 5
You have met the Criteria for Band 5 , in that you have;
-there is consistent use of analytical methods
-there was good use of quotations to support the points that you made.
Nimrah Butt
AO1 - band 5
- Points are well made and developed using multiple quotations and close analysis. e.g, "the word ‘subterranean’ develops the demonic characterisation of the Count"& "Carter’s description of ‘the abyss of the dark’ signifies both the ‘torture chamber’ and her fateful marriage to the Count"
- Critical terminology accurately used and consistently used - "suggesting a ritualistic idolisation of the female,"
AO2 - Band 5
- consistenly coherent and detailed discussion of effects of language, form and structure in selected passage, e.g "The link between marriage and death, sex and violence is made explicit here when the narrator sees the extent of the bargain she has entered into"
- Excellent and consistently effective use of analytical mathods, the introduction of the essay questions allows gives a good and clear view of the point being made.
Sorry - had to rush this over my lunch as my laptop broke over the weekend - Josie
AO1- Band 5
-Close analysis showing clear understanding of the passage.
-The use of embedded quotations
-Quotattions analysed in detail showing clear understanding of PEA (point, evidence, analysis)
-The consistancy of tone has an effect on the reader as it runs smoothly throughtout the essay.
AO2- Band 5
-Argument is kept consistent throughout the essay.
-The use of formal language throughout the novel.
-Effective use of syntax.
-Language structure and form is clearly spoken about which shows a clear comprehension of the text.
-Argument is further developed with use of quotations.
Zaynab Islam
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